Suddenly thought of the time we walked tgt to plaza from school.
We were chasing each other, even though the weather was so hot..

She was in the canteen today after school..
It seems quite unbelievable to recognize someone by their footsteps,
but when I heard those footsteps, somehow, I knew it was her.
I didn't turn. I could only look at her at the corner of my eye.
I waited till she passed and checked to see if it's her. It really was..

I don't know how she was able to bear with this pain for so long.

Haven't seen you in a long time.

Over this period of time, so many, many things happened.

Majority, if not all, of them which I'm not proud of.

I used to act like I'm tough, speaking lightly of regret.

Now, I'm suffering from the repercussions of my actions.

What made me so blind? I don't know, but I hope my eyes would have opened sooner.

Just 2 weeks made so much difference.

My mum asked me if anything was wrong, I told her I was fine.

I don't know how she could have known that I was having emotional problems.

Did the look on my face give it away?

I read the tagboard and saw Passerby wishing me good luck for OP.

It was her.

In the end, I got a B while she got a C.

I can't help but feel that it was my fault..

She tagged that she still loved me..

If only I've seen that earlier..

I would make things right, before she slowly started to give up on me..

I remember she found out that I went to her blog through her nuffnang.

I lied to her, telling her that others who visit my blog first and go to hers will also show as me visiting.

But the truth,

was that I'm the one...

Everywhere I go, memories started surfacing again.

The walks to my home, sending her home from school, even just buying food for her, appeared as sweet memories.

I looked at the busstop where we waited for the bus to go to lot1 after school to watch movies.

I always teased her about her legs being thicker than mine when we stood at the ticketing area with the reflective pillar.

This also reminded me of the countless times we went to CWP to watch movies, eating pastamania and especially the first time I went out with her to study at the library.

We were awkwardly texting others, but soon we started to talk.

It was the first time I've ever went out with a girl alone.

I was nervous but I acted like I was calm..

But soon it got better.

I felt more comfortable.

Thinking bout that, in my whole life, she was the only one that I was comfortable with.

I could look her in the eyes, talk to her without stuttering..

I showed stupid faces and made her smile.

'Eee so ugly!' was what she would always say..

I miss her smile, I miss her warm embrace..

I took her unconditional love for granted, and hurt her deeply.

I keep trying and trying, finding a way to get back to her again.

I can't.

I'm at a loss.

I don't know what to do.

Words can't even begin to describe how badly I want to get back together with her, make her smile again, be there for her.

I've lost her trust, I've lost the golden opportunity to get back with her.

I don't know if I should just wait, so that she will not feel like I'm pestering her, or fight for her love which I should have long ago.

She told me she would consider if my grades are all above C.

I hope to hear good news..

Deleting all my games, once and for all.

It's really time to chiong, and prove that I can do it.